Sunday, February 19, 2006

Lessons of life

Have you ever dropped coffee on the carpet and didn't know what to do?

Spilled some tea and realised that there are no paper towels at home?

No fear! Because I bring you the quickest way to take care of such emergencies....absolutely FREE! (ever wonder the difference between "absolutely free" and just "free" ? )

1. Rush to the bathroom.
2. Pull (and do I mean pull!) out 15 feet of toilet paper. (huh? no toilet paper??? where you live? on a tree? )
3. Rush back to the room where the liquid has been dropped.
4. <dab> <dab> <dab> <dab> <dab>
5. <fold>
6. <dab> <dab> <dab>
7. <fold>
8. <dab>
9. Repeat 1-8 as desired.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

the 6.45 am haiku

tears roll down the cheek
and nose, as I cry for the
baby onion

Is this correct, Mr. Phat-man ?

Monday, February 13, 2006

Random thoughts on the way to 'Potty'sburgh

Editor's Note : All times are expressed in IST

2.00 am: There was this one week in Bombay that I had pani-puri each day until I thought I was sick of it. But here I am drooling over the pani-puri shown in the in-flight movie 'Pyaar mein Twist' that Air India is so kind to show us. The movie, I must add is a little less entertaining than the clouds I see outside the window as we fly over what I earlier thought was Iceland but now am definitely sure is Greenland.

2.10 am: Maybe it is Iceland after all. Clouds have this unique ability of appearing more interesting than watching pot-bellied Rishi Kapoor flirt with not-so-pot-bellied Dimple Kapadia. Boohoo.

2.20 am: Iceland can't be so big, can it? Heck we've been flying above it for over an hour now and all I can see is mountains and snow and clouds.
Definitely Greenland.

2.30 am: Still have my headphones on. Am listening to Farida Jalal giving relationship gyaan to Rishi Kapoor and Dimple Kapadia (help!) but am looking at all the lovely designs the nice little Greenland people have made for us in the snow for those of us bored in the aircraft.

2.55 am: 'Khullam Khulla Pyaar Karenge Hum' croons Rishi Kapoor.

3.05 am: Movie stopped mid-way. US Immigration film is more important.
Still flying over Greenland though.

3.20 am: Will be landing in another 40 minutes (?). Were flying over Canada all this while.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Day II

Editor's Note: You might want to refer to Day I for continuity.

Day 2 and the hens were getting irritating already. After eating last night's rice with dal (wouldn't call it dal), everyone set out to do "field work". It involved cleaning the road all the way from the Khartoli Bridge up till Bamnoli. It really wasnt required, but its OKAY. So if you happened to stop by Bamnoli that day, you would've seen twenty of us vigourously sweeping the dust off the road only to have it blown back on the road by the light breeze. And if you looked really close, you would've seen half of us muttering expletives under our breath.

So today I was in the organising committee and we planned to organise a colouring competition for the kids. After bathing and lunch, we set out to inform the people of Bamnoli, Bhute and Mane. However we could only Bamnoli and half of Bhute. Anyways, had fun interacting with the people of the village though I was quite handicapped as far as the language was concerned. Karishma learnt a new word today - Kaki (pronounced: Kaak-eee, Marathi for aunt). She just kept yelling "kakeee" in front of every house till someone came out. Of course she stopped it when in front of one of the houses she kept yelling "kakeee kakeee" and an old man stepped out.

We returned back just in time for a lecture on Criminology by Reshma Patil, Lecturer of Criminology, JSM College. Reminded me of Rita Sharma in many ways. After the lecture, at around 6pm the kids began pouring in for the colouring competition.

The kids just wouldn't stop colouring. After that we had them make crowns out of paper. Until the results for the best painting/crown were being decided, the kids decided to play Antakshari. It got quite late and some of the kids had to be dropped home. You have no idea how dark the village gets after sunset. Dinner was made by the cooking committee (read: without JP's interference, whatsoever) and it tasted like real food.

The Volunteer Activity for the night was a group discussion on "Should one have a mission in life?" and everyone enthusiastically participated. Soon it was time to sleep. Once again Karishma and I laughed endlessly for no reason. This is probably a good time to apologise to Sumitra who, on one of the nights was frustrated with us.

Today's Lesson: (i) If someone doesn't open up to you at first attempt, try again. This is what I learnt from the kids today. Shy at first, they opened their hearts to us as the evening went by. I felt I had known them for years or rather they were the ones who made me feel that way.

(ii) Learn how to speak Marathi!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

emote i can(t) ?

so, of all the messengers I have used until today, yahoo has the best collection of emoticons. really. but sometimes they just aren't enough.

miss you.